Tony Bones

How the hell did you get yourself stuck in Texas? And has the hurt of being stuck there started to go away?

Well, as you know, I was living up in Brooklyn, me and my girlfriend had decided to split up and see the world. She was off to Europe and I was heading down to Texas to save some loot for a 6-month trip to south East Asia and India. I had gotten most of the bread together and was about a month from setting sail when one morning the Dallas Gang-Unit busted into my place and blah, blah, blah, now I’m probation and can’t leave the county, hell, even the state. ...For 3 years.

Yeah I remember hearing about the “blah, blah, blah” shit through the grapevine, I think you texted me the next day. You were just as casual about the gang-unit then. Were they let in by a parent? Or did they actually bust down the door? Any guns drawn by overzealous cops or were they cool about it?

Most definitely not cool about it. They were let in by my t-jones. She handled it like a champ, telling them thing like "I know my rights" and shit. I heard her open the door and they said Dallas police search warrant, I jumped up and handled some shit and had only barely pulled my shorts over my morning wood when they came into my room.

They made me sit in the living room while they dug through my shit. The detective was a fucking jerk he kept saying smart-ass stuff about how he always knew he'd get me but I gotta say dude knew the who’s who of Dallas graffiti more than most kids in the scene.

At least you didn’t get popped by some no-nothing asshole. Not the best consolation, but its something. Wait a second t-jones? What the hell is that?

(Ignoring the question) They sent the chief of police to my buddy's place that same day... Oh and there were news cameras on my lawn.

Wow, you should have had someone tape the broadcast.

Yeah I called the station and they said the official tape is 75 bucks. I never got it though.

A small price to pay for some fine "This Is Your Life" moments caught on tape. Back to t-jones? What the hell is that?

Oh I’m sorry, that's my mommy.

(Laughing) What’s with the nickname?

Some ‘hood shit.

Nice. So how much time is left on the sentence?

I’ve been on prob since April… so about 2 and a half years.

Time isn’t flying for shit.

Tell me about it.

So tell me, how are you killing time there? What keeps you from eating your service revolver?

I’ve been tightening up my game, basically getting the ball rolling on some projects, building bikes and riding a lot… Wait, do you mean since I’ve been in trouble?

Yeah, basically.

To be honest, I’ve been a relatively good boy.

Nothing wrong with the "good-boy" act while you’re under the microscope, if it keeps your ass out of jail for the time being.

Well, we have a bike collective going down here. We build mutant bikes and compete. We have races and massive rides. We had an event in July called Scrap Attack; it was pretty rad. I’ve been down under the city in the drain tunnels a little too.

Good to hear. What’s the name of the collective?

The Cadence Collective.

Ok, just to pick the scab a little more, what city would you rather be in right now, and what would you be doing there?

Oh shit. That’s a tough one... I guess I'd like to be in India. Somewhere in the jungle with and elephant. Or in the South Pacific on a ship.

That’s right you've got the sailor blood in you.
I forgot about that.

There is indeed a salty brine in my lines.

Happy to hear it.

I want to live on a boat someday.

I've done it.  Don’t do it with a woman.

Sound advice. Women at sea are bad luck anyway.

Truer words.... So at this point, what is and isn’t worth breaking probation for? And of course it's hypothetical, no one would ever do such a thing.

No, never... but if I were to break probation it would be with a good fake passport and a tall stack of sheckles. I would head for Asia. Also I guess I would break it if I could go into outer space...a little far fetched I know, but all the same, shit would be worth it.

See that’s what I'm talking about, a well thought-out, honest answer to a phoned in question. Thank you for that. Here’s another plug and play question. Who are you into right now and since you were a kid?

Jacques-Yves Cousteau, Buster Keaton and Guy Fawkes are the first to come to mind, then photo bill (Bill Daniel) too, he made "Who is Bozo Texino" about J. H. McKinley (a.k.a. Bozo Texino).

Anything you want to plug?

Yeah check out www.artprostitute.com they have a gallery here in Dallas and are doing some really good stuff for the scene here. I have a website that you can check out, and a comic book in the works. It’s about this guy who gets into all sorts of trouble and winds up having a demon come out of his cancer ridden dick and destroy the city.

So it’s for the kids. Sounds fantastic. Ok, as a final question; tell me a quick story about a time that you thought you were going to be killed or a time that you pulled of some shit you'd love at least one more person to know about.

There was this other time when me and a couple of buddies were painting a really dicey part of town and we got run up on by this guy with a knife, we scattered and got away but he was hiding in the bushes by my truck and sprung out as I approached. I juked him and made it into the cab but homeboy stuck my back tire as I was pulling out. I limped it into downtown and made it to the parking lot of the jail down there when the rim started scraping. As I was fixing the flat the knife guy walked passed and looked at me and I looked at him, I picked up the tire iron and got ready to swing on him when a cop pulled into the lot, he kept going without a word.

Another time, I fell off a billboard while painting it... I landed on my shoulder and head and had partial memory loss.