So, SMARTS is a band you want to see. Harold Hughes III, Jeffery Dundas, and Alexander Dondero play intense party punk combined with a Detroit craziness. But somehow, they’ve still got mad good vibes going on, like you just watched Matt and Kim. SMARTS plays: you grin. We talked about bike racing, their recent show at our venue, the Bodega, and other awesomeness.

Chief Magazine: Okay. So, I need your name and rank.

Chip: So this is Chip from SMARTS, being sat next to by Jeff and farther away Alex.

Ooh, you're all here! I thought if it was just one of you I could get you to turn on the others…

C: Well, I just turned on Alex. He is on the phone.

Doesn't he know when he's being interviewed?

C: Now he is off.

Good. Fuck whomever he was talking to. So, when did you guys start this crazy band?

C: Roughly one year ago, we formed from Jeff and Alex's band coconuts that were together 2 years before.

So, what was coconuts all about? I have no information on coconuts.

C: Mostly they broke up because there is also a lesbian bar in Baltimore called coconuts, and they kept getting shitty shows.

At lesbian bars? How were the shows shitty?

Jeff: well we weren't too serious and kind of started off by just putting our own shows on and then putting ourselves on the bill. I think people just kind of started handing us all their leftovers at some point, booking us as openers for all the shit shows they didn’t want to play.

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It's a big point in any band's history when they realize they don't have to play every show they get offered.

J: True, but at the same time we ended up playing with a lot of rad bands, being as that we got pegged as this like, omnipresent opener. We just made ourselves available.

And where was chip during all of this?

J: Well... I let him answer that.

You guys. Quit changing it up! You're confusing.

Chip: I kinda played in this ultra avantard band. We played some rad shows too with Ponytail, Ecstatic Sunshine, the Death Set. But we were the worst band, completely awful.

Did you have an art mullet?

C: No, it was just taking over some stupid beats. It actually started as an art project that some how turned into a shit band.

Those are the best kinds of bad bands.

C: I also lived with Alex in this house called Space Mountain, which is the house that put on the shows which is where coconuts and terror squad started. Later I moved out and Jeff moved in.

So, the seeds for SMARTS were laid long before…

C: Yes, two bad bands make one other band.

That is good. From the ashes of coconuts comes the phoenix that is......SMARTS. But when did the magic moment happen? When did the band really become the band?

C: Like a year ago they decided they needed a change. And that’s where I fit in.  We played our first show whartscape last year. I only sang one song then. We had a slow start.

Did people go apeshit? Did people lose their minds?

C: Good feedback. The first show (with) me singing every song was with Japanther and Ninja Sonik.

Chip, do you have a background as a musician, or are you just a singer?

C: No, I don’t have any background. Neither does Alex.

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But Jeff does. I know cause I saw him playing his bass all "professionally."

C: Also, I would add that I probably moved out of Space Mountain due to Alex learning to play drums. Miserable. But yeah, (Jeff)’s way good. Someone should put him in their band.

Was Alex's learning process on the drums, um, loud?

C: So so loud. Not to mention his drum set always sounded so bad and broken.

Well, then he's come a long way. Because he sounded like non-shit at the Bodega. You all were great.

C: Thank you, dude.

CM: So, do you guys have a band, uh, philosophy? Other than "fuck shit up"?

C: I would say its not “fuck shit up.” Its kind of sweet punk. We’d rather be nice to people, right? That's what bands do these days. Most songs are about love. We’re not sure do what other bands do.

CM:  Aww...I know one of you guys has a girlfriend. Do you guys write songs about your girls? Or do you just make shit up?

C: Well yeah, but some are like just movie synopsis. Like one song, Jules and Jim, but kind of a really bad one. And one song, general idea, was about an art collective I thought was really cool, but the song isn’t really about them.

CM: So, what's with "SMARTS"? Is there one of those Spin magazine style stories behind that name?

C: No, we just tried to think what we all had in common.

And you all have SMARTS? That's awesome. Do you guys consider yourselves part of a collective?

C: No collective, just friends. Collectively friendly. That was our other choice for a band name.

Well, Best Fwends was taken.

C: Didn't have the same monosyllabic ring to it.

Do people erroneously call your band "the SMARTS"?

C: No. It’s always in caps though. SMARTS.  I think it’s quite striking that way.

Absolutely. When are the t-shirts coming out?

C: Tonight hopefully, or when Alex gets motivated. He has a screen-printing business here and if you have a shirt from a Baltimore band chances are he printed it.

What do you guys do when you're not melting faces with your brutal rock power? Do you guys have jobs?

C: Well, Alex screen prints, Jeff works on a boat, and I work for an old lady painter with too much money. But we all just graduated so that is most of what we do or did.

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You guys rule.

C: Thanks again. You’re just trying to soften us up. We are way way tuff.

You guys are like a slightly more cuddly the Stooges.

C: (laughs) I like that.

So Chip, is your ankle okay? Did you have to go to the doctor?

C: No I didn’t, and I thought I was fine but we just played Whartscape and i was there all weekend and now it
hurts again. I was gonna call my nurse mom and see what she thought.

Yeah, you should take Motrin too. Shit is POWERFUL. It shouldn't be over the counter.

[Laughs]

How was Whartscape this year?

C: Alex just had a crazy staph infection in his leg and he was swimming in pain killers. It was fun. Hot as hell and so many bands, but generally consensus is we did good.

Damn. What kind of ailment does Jeff have?

C: Arthritis from ruling at bass.

What a burden he must have. Being so awesome.

C: At Whartscape we played on top of my car

How did that go? Did anyone fall off?

No, it worked well.  No injuries.

When you played at Bodega, Chip and Alex got a little rowdy. Is that usual?

Jeff: Yeah, Alex is strong and Chip is lightweight. They work well together. I am the glue that holds them together. Or the peanut butter. They are the loaf.

Yeah, you guys are all loaves.

Chip: We try to keep it interesting. True, loafy spectacles. Spectacular loafs.

Where does the instinct to jump around and shit come from? I know that's a little touchy-feely, but why do you guys think you get so rowdy?

C: Well, that’s why they call them shows, it’s for the eyes as well as the ears.

Ouch. I mean, good answer.

C: We like to make people move though, too. It’s always more exciting for everyone when we're in it together.

Yeah, no distance between band and audience, we're all in it together.

C: Exactly. That’s why we used to use the ball pit balls.

How would you use them?

C: It’s like a mosh pit but way sweeter. We used to have all these enormous bags of them that we would dump out, but they got a little gross.

You guys should try balloons. And kitties.

C: Yeah, I feel like kittens might get gross too.

Just like in the real ball pit. It gets gross on the bottom.

C: Yeah, no syringes or piss at our shows though. Well actually, I take that back. Maybe some pee. It happens.

You guys had tapes at our show. Do people still listen to tapes?

C: God I hope so, because we gave like twenty away.

Why not a simpler, technology-friendly CD?

C: I dunno, tapes just sound so good, we were hoping it would make up for our haphazard recording setup.

How do you guys record?

C: Well, Johnny from Death Set recorded us a while back, but he’s been on world tour indefinitely, and then our friends who are recording engineers were down here recording Wye Oak and recorded us, and then we recorded a bunch of stuff with one mic that sounds crazy and blown out.

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Cool. You guys are on the cutting fucking edge. What's your favorite beer?

C: Alex does not drink but Jeff says... Old English.

And I say Baltimore beer, National Bohemian.

Hey, Alex? Do you race motorcycles or something? There was some buzz about this.

C: No, track bikes. He’s a real gear head.

So, does he race at all?

C: Yeah, like those street races. Alley cats.

Aha. And does he win?

Alex: I have been at it for a little bit. And now the races are so popular with kids who just got bikes. If the race is in Baltimore I hold it down no prob. New York, I try and get top ten.

Is there money in it?

A: Yeah, in the last Baltimore race I got second and it was winner take all. That kid got $500, and I got a stupid bag.

[Laughs] You suck. Just kidding.

A: But I usually make out with a good amount of random prizes.

Do you wear a helmet?

A: No, I have acquired the title of Flying Coffin in b-more because "I ride like the angle of death is chasing me"

That's awesome. Well, I'm out of questions. anything you guys want to talk about?

A: No, I think we covered quite a bit. Our next show is with Eyeball Skeleton and Fiasco here at the talking head on august 7th

When are you coming back to us in Brooklyn?

A: Well, Chip is moving there in August, but we’d be happy to play the Bodega again soon.

Great! It’s a deal.


Websites

SMARTS' Myspace


Interview by: Steve Roberts

Photos courtesy: Andrew Laumann