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Bizarre Blotters - Requiem in XXX
YOUR PLANS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY ARE MYYYYYY PLANS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY!!!! ITS CRAZY! JAPANTHER! NINJASONIK! LETS ALL GET PREGNANT! FOR AMERICA!
COME ON OUT!!!!!!! ITS GONNA BE CRAZY!
|| Japanther
|||| Deathset — with Beau
|||||| Ninjasonik
|||||||| Muhammadali
|||||||||| Ghost Mall
|| dj Ephyou
| LIT FUSE BIKE SHOP |
409 Willoughby Ave @ Walworth St | Clinton Hill, Bklyn
G-Myrtle/Willoughby | –| 1PM |– | all ages | $5-$10 sliding scale
SAY CHIEF MAG OR ED ZIPCO SENT YOU AND THEY'LL POINT US OUT! (WE'LL BE BY THE STAGE, WASSSSSSTED AT NOON)
IF YOU PAID FULL ADMISSION WE'LL HAVE FREE BOOZE (AND DRUGS) FOR YOU.
JUST TRY ME. YOU JUST FUCKING TRY ME.
Thee Oh Sees at Glasslands/The People of the State of New York VS. The People on the Sidewalk Outside Glasslands Last Night
Not feeling too clever this morning, primarily on account of all the free tequila I drank last night. Don't complain, just drink, right? Honestly, between that and the crowd at Thee Oh Sees show at Glasslands last night, I'm surprised I got a single shot off. But as you can tell by that (almost) totally accidental beaut up top, great things can happen when you chase clear (NOT GOLD!) well tequila with garage rock.
John Dwyer, whom I interviewed for Chief Magazine's music issue, pulled some serious rock moves last night during a short and sweaty Oh Sees set: chomped microphones, climbed stacks, cut his knee open, and smashed the fuck out of that lovely green flood light with the headstock of his guitar.
Yo. Fucking sweet guitar.
But before all this happened, me and about twenty other people got approached by some circling van cops and told to produce IDs. Never a good sign, right? We all got summonses for "blocking the bike lane" outside Glasslands! I don't know about anyone else, but in my case, unless that bike lane is on the sidewalk thirty feet away from the venue entrance, that's bullshit. Damned quotas... they smelled blood when they saw a congregation gathered on an otherwise empty stretch of Kent and cruised down looking to bust people. They got someone for open container early, but the rest was just crap.
Worst of all, the cops tried to make it sound like it was the people using the bike lane that complained about the crowd, but no one was in the street until the NYPD showed up and started taking peoples' IDs!
Pssht. I'm'a fight that shit. See you in court.
Pool Party at the East River!
Damn urban planning decided to turn McCarren into an actual pool, so Jelly NYC has decided to throw a full lineup of FREE shows this summer in the Williamsburg Waterfront, chocked fulla all-Amurrican fun of barbecue, games, and booze-the glue that keeps us all together.
Happy Independence Day!
July 2: Fun Facts!
On July 2, 1850, the first self-contained gas mask was patented. Unfortunately, for the next hundred years, these lung-savers contained good ol' asbestos. Was there anything that stuff couldn't do back then?
47 years later, Guglielmo Marconi obtained the first patent for radio technology. Although his claim to this revolutionary advance was later disputed, the 1909 Nobel Laureate's title was defended by his buddies in Mussolini's Fascist regime. Earlier this year, he was (quite posthumously) inducted into the New Jersey Hall of Fame. Hmmm.
Issue 17: ZZK
In Zona Sur, Argentina, outside the capital city Buenos Aires, resides one of the men responsible for helping the new wave of cumbia spread like wildfire, through vinyl and the internet, beyond the Americas and into soundsystems from LA to London.
Pedro Canale, better known as Chancha Vía Circuito, has become one of the best-known artists to emerge from the thriving Buenos Aires music scene, centered around the Zizek nightclub. His elegant, well-crafted and bass-friendly compositions have found their way onto pounding cumbia mixtapes worldwide, including two of the most influential to date: Diplo/Mad Decent's “Soy Cumbia” mix, and Vampiros Dee Jay's “La Sonidera Colombiana” (his track “Damas Gratis Dub” opens both mixes).
Pedro is friendly and unassuming, apparently unfazed by the critical success of his album “Rodante,” and he continues to lead a seemingly quiet lifestyle a fair train ride outside of Buenos Aires city.
I spoke with him from my home in Japan, where he enjoys underground fame among the surprising number of Japanese cumbieros.
Chief Magazine: When did you start writing your own music, and what kinds of music have you made?
Pedro Canale: I started when I was 12. I used to make songs on the acoustic guitar (the guitarra criolla) and since then I've passed through various different styles: rock, reggae, heavy, electronic, to name a few.
I read that when you were young you used to play percussion in the murgas. How did that influence your musical development?
When I was a kid I played the bass drum in a folkloric group at school, but I never played in a murga, maybe that was a mistake somewhere. But recently I got involved with the murgas, 4 years ago, when I was invited to join the jury for the Buenos Aires carnival.
In any case, it has had an important role for me because the percussion characteristic of the murgas—the bass with the cymbal—opened my ears to a palate of timbre I wasn't familiar with.
What is the rhythm of the murgas like?
Well, as far as the Argentinean murgas it's pretty simple: 4/4 with the bass drum on whole notes.
The little I have seen of murgas on YouTube has been incredible. How would you explain murga to people unfamiliar with it?
It's not easy to explain, but to summarize you could say it's an artistic expression of social protest that began with the slaves brought on ships from Africa, and it acquired different styles and characteristic touches in different countries... It's an art that combines music, dance, song and fantasy. And yes, I agree with you, they're incredible.
read more...
DIY Circumcision: Nail Clippers Edition
This guy thought it would be a great idea to give himself a circumcision with nail clippers. Now I don’t know how small his brain/dick must have been to devise such a poor decision, but I’m guessing it could not that big. I’m a big fan of testing out your pain threshold, but that is one motherfucker I would not recommend you to try. Don’t do it.
And, If you must insist on an explanation, self-administering a circumcision as a full grown adult not only provides excruciating pain, but it can actually lead to severe dick infection, and even damage your membrane and completely tarnish your sexual performance. FOR EVER.
So who wants to go horse-riding after this?
Get Your Punk On!
A few things you should know about the D
Seeing as the beautiful city of Daytwah is (or at least was) Motor City, everyone drives here. As a New Yorker, I personally do not drive, nor do I even have a learners permit. Upon mentioning it to the fair people of Michigan everyone looked at me like I was the ghost of MJ or something. I've walked a total of about 2 city blocks the entire time I've been here, possibly less.
In Brooklyn, Coney Island is a beach, so you can imagine how fucking confused I was when people in the D would casually mention that they were going to Coney Island. In the D, coney island= diner. Why is this? Well, I think it has something to do with hot dogs. The point is, you can still smoke in them, doesn't that rule? You bet your ass it does. You know what else rules about the D? This:
The only place in New York you can get cigarettes this cheap is when you negotiate with that small Asian lady who comes into all the bars on 2nd ave. hustlin' . They used to have 6 dollar packs at this gas station near my crib but recently increased it to $7.
In New York, we have liquors stores that sell one thing: liquor. Furthermore most of them close by 11pm. In Detroit, they have combination liquor store, bodega, party city, street kiosck combos called PARTY STORES. and they stay open till at least 2am. If only I could buy a bottle of vodka, 5 dollar cigarettes, and sandwich and a Barack Obama t-shirt all in the same place in Brooklyn, sigh.
Despite what Eminem would have you believe, 8 mile is totally non-specific to Detroit and actually runs through the entire state of Michigan. Also:
Well, I think these last two images speak for themselves.
The more you know, Chief readers, the more you know.
View Older Posts
Friday, July 3 2009
Delray Beach Police - Someone stole a Panasonic television, a compact disc player with two recordable CDs of the homeowner’s sister’s funeral and $50 from a home in the 4100 block of Village Drive. The burglar left behind a bottle of petroleum jelly on the living room table and a pair of blue boxers and a black T-shirt on the patio.
YOUR PLANS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY ARE MYYYYYY PLANS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY!!!! ITS CRAZY! JAPANTHER! NINJASONIK! LETS ALL GET PREGNANT! FOR AMERICA!
Friday, July 3 2009
COME ON OUT!!!!!!! ITS GONNA BE CRAZY!
|| Japanther
|||| Deathset — with Beau
|||||| Ninjasonik
|||||||| Muhammadali
|||||||||| Ghost Mall
|| dj Ephyou
| LIT FUSE BIKE SHOP |
409 Willoughby Ave @ Walworth St | Clinton Hill, Bklyn
G-Myrtle/Willoughby | –| 1PM |– | all ages | $5-$10 sliding scale
SAY CHIEF MAG OR ED ZIPCO SENT YOU AND THEY'LL POINT US OUT! (WE'LL BE BY THE STAGE, WASSSSSSTED AT NOON)
IF YOU PAID FULL ADMISSION WE'LL HAVE FREE BOOZE (AND DRUGS) FOR YOU.
JUST TRY ME. YOU JUST FUCKING TRY ME.
Thee Oh Sees at Glasslands/The People of the State of New York VS. The People on the Sidewalk Outside Glasslands Last Night
Friday, July 3 2009
Not feeling too clever this morning, primarily on account of all the free tequila I drank last night. Don't complain, just drink, right? Honestly, between that and the crowd at Thee Oh Sees show at Glasslands last night, I'm surprised I got a single shot off. But as you can tell by that (almost) totally accidental beaut up top, great things can happen when you chase clear (NOT GOLD!) well tequila with garage rock.
John Dwyer, whom I interviewed for Chief Magazine's music issue, pulled some serious rock moves last night during a short and sweaty Oh Sees set: chomped microphones, climbed stacks, cut his knee open, and smashed the fuck out of that lovely green flood light with the headstock of his guitar.
Yo. Fucking sweet guitar.
But before all this happened, me and about twenty other people got approached by some circling van cops and told to produce IDs. Never a good sign, right? We all got summonses for "blocking the bike lane" outside Glasslands! I don't know about anyone else, but in my case, unless that bike lane is on the sidewalk thirty feet away from the venue entrance, that's bullshit. Damned quotas... they smelled blood when they saw a congregation gathered on an otherwise empty stretch of Kent and cruised down looking to bust people. They got someone for open container early, but the rest was just crap.
Worst of all, the cops tried to make it sound like it was the people using the bike lane that complained about the crowd, but no one was in the street until the NYPD showed up and started taking peoples' IDs!
Pssht. I'm'a fight that shit. See you in court.
Pool Party at the East River!
Thursday, July 2 2009
Damn urban planning decided to turn McCarren into an actual pool, so Jelly NYC has decided to throw a full lineup of FREE shows this summer in the Williamsburg Waterfront, chocked fulla all-Amurrican fun of barbecue, games, and booze-the glue that keeps us all together.
Happy Independence Day!
Thursday, July 2 2009
On this day, July 2, in 1776, the Continental Congress voted for our nation's independence from Britain. July 4th is just the date on the document signed by our Founding Fathers... on August 2. We officially broke away at some point in there. You call it. (Thanks to Chief's own Bill Dunleavy for pointing this out like a true patriot!)
For more about the real Independence Day, check out the National Archives.
Time to go and blow off some fingers! Whoo S. A.!
July 2: Fun Facts!
Thursday, July 2 2009
On July 2, 1850, the first self-contained gas mask was patented. Unfortunately, for the next hundred years, these lung-savers contained good ol' asbestos. Was there anything that stuff couldn't do back then?
47 years later, Guglielmo Marconi obtained the first patent for radio technology. Although his claim to this revolutionary advance was later disputed, the 1909 Nobel Laureate's title was defended by his buddies in Mussolini's Fascist regime. Earlier this year, he was (quite posthumously) inducted into the New Jersey Hall of Fame. Hmmm.
On this day in 1937, Amelia Earhart and her navigator made their last contact with civilization (probably using a radio) before making history as flying phantoms. "Y'all circumnavigatin'?" "Not quite like Magellan." Image from the collection of Len Roe.
Issue 17: ZZK
Thursday, July 2 2009
In Zona Sur, Argentina, outside the capital city Buenos Aires, resides one of the men responsible for helping the new wave of cumbia spread like wildfire, through vinyl and the internet, beyond the Americas and into soundsystems from LA to London.
Pedro Canale, better known as Chancha Vía Circuito, has become one of the best-known artists to emerge from the thriving Buenos Aires music scene, centered around the Zizek nightclub. His elegant, well-crafted and bass-friendly compositions have found their way onto pounding cumbia mixtapes worldwide, including two of the most influential to date: Diplo/Mad Decent's “Soy Cumbia” mix, and Vampiros Dee Jay's “La Sonidera Colombiana” (his track “Damas Gratis Dub” opens both mixes).
Pedro is friendly and unassuming, apparently unfazed by the critical success of his album “Rodante,” and he continues to lead a seemingly quiet lifestyle a fair train ride outside of Buenos Aires city.
I spoke with him from my home in Japan, where he enjoys underground fame among the surprising number of Japanese cumbieros.
Chief Magazine: When did you start writing your own music, and what kinds of music have you made?
Pedro Canale: I started when I was 12. I used to make songs on the acoustic guitar (the guitarra criolla) and since then I've passed through various different styles: rock, reggae, heavy, electronic, to name a few.
I read that when you were young you used to play percussion in the murgas. How did that influence your musical development?
When I was a kid I played the bass drum in a folkloric group at school, but I never played in a murga, maybe that was a mistake somewhere. But recently I got involved with the murgas, 4 years ago, when I was invited to join the jury for the Buenos Aires carnival.
In any case, it has had an important role for me because the percussion characteristic of the murgas—the bass with the cymbal—opened my ears to a palate of timbre I wasn't familiar with.
What is the rhythm of the murgas like?
Well, as far as the Argentinean murgas it's pretty simple: 4/4 with the bass drum on whole notes.
The little I have seen of murgas on YouTube has been incredible. How would you explain murga to people unfamiliar with it?
It's not easy to explain, but to summarize you could say it's an artistic expression of social protest that began with the slaves brought on ships from Africa, and it acquired different styles and characteristic touches in different countries... It's an art that combines music, dance, song and fantasy. And yes, I agree with you, they're incredible.
read more...
DIY Circumcision: Nail Clippers Edition
Thursday, July 2 2009
This guy thought it would be a great idea to give himself a circumcision with nail clippers. Now I don’t know how small his brain/dick must have been to devise such a poor decision, but I’m guessing it could not that big. I’m a big fan of testing out your pain threshold, but that is one motherfucker I would not recommend you to try. Don’t do it.
And, If you must insist on an explanation, self-administering a circumcision as a full grown adult not only provides excruciating pain, but it can actually lead to severe dick infection, and even damage your membrane and completely tarnish your sexual performance. FOR EVER.
So who wants to go horse-riding after this?
Get Your Punk On!
Thursday, July 2 2009
A few things you should know about the D
Thursday, July 2 2009
Seeing as the beautiful city of Daytwah is (or at least was) Motor City, everyone drives here. As a New Yorker, I personally do not drive, nor do I even have a learners permit. Upon mentioning it to the fair people of Michigan everyone looked at me like I was the ghost of MJ or something. I've walked a total of about 2 city blocks the entire time I've been here, possibly less.
In Brooklyn, Coney Island is a beach, so you can imagine how fucking confused I was when people in the D would casually mention that they were going to Coney Island. In the D, coney island= diner. Why is this? Well, I think it has something to do with hot dogs. The point is, you can still smoke in them, doesn't that rule? You bet your ass it does. You know what else rules about the D? This:
The only place in New York you can get cigarettes this cheap is when you negotiate with that small Asian lady who comes into all the bars on 2nd ave. hustlin' . They used to have 6 dollar packs at this gas station near my crib but recently increased it to $7.
In New York, we have liquors stores that sell one thing: liquor. Furthermore most of them close by 11pm. In Detroit, they have combination liquor store, bodega, party city, street kiosck combos called PARTY STORES. and they stay open till at least 2am. If only I could buy a bottle of vodka, 5 dollar cigarettes, and sandwich and a Barack Obama t-shirt all in the same place in Brooklyn, sigh.
Despite what Eminem would have you believe, 8 mile is totally non-specific to Detroit and actually runs through the entire state of Michigan. Also:
Well, I think these last two images speak for themselves.
The more you know, Chief readers, the more you know.
View Older Posts
Jennifer Osborne
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